Herding Humans – A Cats Eye View

There is a saying about ‘Herding Cats’ which will get any cat owner, however loving, raising their eyebrows and sighing. However, cats would argue that ‘Herding Humans’ is far more difficult. For example humans have some very strange habits indeed: they are well known for sleeping through the night, which is the best time for hunting, not to mention their notoriously poor prioritisation skills early in the morning when most cats just want a good meal and a nap. Little wonder that at seven am many kitchens up and down the land are subjected to the scene of a bleary eyed human attempting to find the coffee, accompanied by one, two or even several cats simultaneously trying to herd the human in the direction of the pet food. What with humans having an innate lack of planning skills when it comes to late night hunting this often results in disaster and swearing. If only there was a reliable sort of human who can deliver pet food on time, when cats are ready for a good meal and little nap.

Of Mice and Milkmen

Thankfully, there are some humans who seem to understand cats. The sub-species of the human race that is most popular with cats is called the ‘milkman’. Like cats he is active during the night and tends to leave stuff on the doorstep. Cats, in fact, have been mimicking this behaviour for years; leaving mice, birds and other small items of food on doorsteps with the hope of drawing staff attention to the possibilities of pet food delivery services. Some staff are beginning to catch on.

You can get the staff these days

Pet food delivery services are just one of an increasing range of daily essentials available from the milkman. They don’t generally stock dead sparrows or mice, but they do now stock and deliver over 250 products, including milk! The products available range from the obvious – bread, cereal and fruit juice – to the downright useful such as kitchen foil, cleaning products, chocolates and even pet food. The beauty of this online delivery services is that the order cut off time is usually late, compared to competitors such as supermarkets; normally you can order as late as nine pm and expect delivery before Tiddles’ naptime and your morning cuppa. Of course not many of us would consider ordering a tin of pet food from a supermarket; the cost of delivery would far outweigh the benefits to even the most ardent pet lover. However when it comes to delivery, the fact that you are probably already on a milk round means that the dairies can afford to deliver free of charge. Leaving you free to make the most of that quiet early morning cuppa, without a chorus of increasingly desperate meowing to accompany it!